Oh Brother!
by Lilly Black
Summary: A twist on big brother, a bit strange
1. EPISODE ONE!

OH BROTHER! A NEW KIND OF BIG BROTHER: HARRY POTTER STYLE!  
  
Sir Nick: I am your OH BROTHER! anoucer! Sir Nicholas De Mimsy-Porpington. Welcome to the show! Now whithout further ado, the contestants! Lilly Black! Jezabelle Potter! Cho Diggory! Harry Potter! Tom Riddle! Sirius Black! Remus Lupin! Anne' Peri-Black! Lily Evens-Potter! James Potter! Peter Petigrew! Lee Jordan! Ok contestants to the house!  
  
Vol... er I mean Tom: Hey! Where are we?  
  
Nick: AMERICA! *Smiles cheerily around at the 11 British contestants*  
  
Lilly: Ok.. how come we have dead people here? *looks nerversouly at her mum, Anne'*  
  
Nick: Well, er I don't know, who cares NE way?  
  
Lilly, Harry, & Jez: WE DO!  
  
Nick ingnors the three nineteen-year-olds sudden outburst  
  
Lilly: and how come you said my last name's Black? I told you it's *censored*-Black now! I am *cencored* you know *Harry pulls her into a pasionate kiss*  
  
Thanx for the cencored words it's so mature to hide fate....... NICK!  
  
Nick removes the cencors to reveal, in order, POTTER, MARRIED.  
  
Cho: Hey, Where are we sleeping NE way?  
  
Harry: always the sencible one, Cho? *Cho blushes*  
  
Nick: please place your wands in the purple bag now!  
  
All; place wands in bag  
  
Lilly: to Harry: This is something... No magic, how's Tom to survive?  
  
Harry: to Lilly: I don't know love, but that's not for now, at least we won't be murdered in a usual way.  
  
Jez: Hey Cho! Lilly! We're sharing a room with *result to piece of parchment* Padfoot, Moony And *gasp* WORMTAIL! Uh-oh!  
  
Cho: Someone is NOT coming out in one piece!  
  
Lilly: OOOOOHHHHH Don't tell Daddy!  
  
Tom: Ha! You still call him Daddy and you're Married to Potter! Oh, I'm gonna die laughing!  
  
Lily, James, and Anne': NOT IF WE KILL YOU FIRST! WE HAVE TO SHARE A ROOM!!!!!!!!!  
  
Nick: Ok! Have fun houseguests, and remember no one leaves until Day 51!  
  
Lilly: Cliche'd with Waco! (A/N: The horror the FBI put on Waco's MT. CARMEL lasted 51 days, I call them the 51 days of HELL)  
  
Jez: we're in sunny CA! My homeland!  
  
Tom: Lousy American!  
  
Peter: *In a not-so-squeaky voice* You ************** lay off! You used THE UNFORGIVABLES to many times! You will pay!  
  
Sirius: Youu tell him!  
  
(A/N: Lucious Malfoy and a few other teribible Death Eaters put poor Peter under the Imperious Curse so strongly he was never able to fight it, until found out by a few headstrong teens)  
  
Remus: Stand up for yourself Peter!  
  
Tom: Shut up you lousy Werewolf!  
  
Lilly, Remus & Harry: Who're you calling lousy, Riddle?!?!?  
  
Tom: I.... uuhhh... THE THREE LOUSYEST STUPEDEST WEREWOLVES I EVER MET!!!!  
  
Sirius, James & Peter: WHY YOU LITTLE..... NEVER CALL A MARAUDER LOUSY!!!!!!  
  
Sirius & James: OR THERE CHILDREN!!!!!!!  
  
Harry & Lilly: GO DAD!  
  
*They look at each other quizically, then laugh*  
  
Cho & Lee are too busy making out in the hall to notice the whole thing until Tom runs past shouting like a lunitic  
  
Lee: Raving, barking, mad, the whole lot of them!  
  
Cho nodds and they continue making out.  
  
Lilly: Look at them snog, never seen it get so intense...They're just kissing but still...  
  
Harry: Maybe we'll get lucky and never have to see them at it again for 51 days.  
  
Lilly: yeah, rrrriiiigggghhhhttttttttt......  
  
Meanwhile: the teams/ roommies are as follows:  
  
Team One: Lilly Black, Cho Diggory, Jezabelle Potter, Remus Lupin, Sirius Black, Peter Petigrew  
  
Team Two: James Potter, Lilly Potter, Anne' Black, Tom Riddle, Lee Jordan, Harry Potter.  
  
In room one:  
  
Lilly: Sirius Black! Get off! *Sirius is in dog form, and knocked Lilly over*  
  
Sirius: *Turns back to human* *Lilly slaps him* Shouldn't have eated all those Peeps, huh? *he asks falling over*  
  
*Remus laughs*  
  
Remus: Never give Padfoot sugar! It's near deadly!  
  
Lilly & Jez & Cho: *Laugh*  
  
Sirius pulls Remus down playfully, who pulls all three girls down too, not to mention Peter. Everyone laughs and someone calls "PILLOW FIGHT" and the games begin!  
  
Room 2:  
  
Tom: Help! Mummy!  
  
Lily & Anne': You, know, we will kill you now, right?  
  
James: Ohhhhh yes! You will pay Moldie Voldie! You will!  
  
Harry & Lee: Raving, Barking Mad! All of you!  
  
Lily & James & Anne': Well duhhhh! We're suposed to be dead!  
  
Nick: Ok, It looks like the roommates are all getting along nicely, lets see the count is in!  
  
WHO DO WE HAVE IN THE OH BROTHER! HOUSE THIS SEASON  
  
3 LUNITICS  
  
1 MURDERER  
  
3 WRONGLY ACCUSED MEN  
  
2 SURVIVORS  
  
3 NOBODYS  
  
THUS CONCLUDES PART ONE 


	2. EPISODE TWO!

OH BROTHER! EPISODE TWO  
  
TOM: I want my mummy! * Out in the rain in only his boxers*  
Lilly: You are SOL!  
Harry: yep, we are not letting you in  
Sirius: sticks tongue out at Tom.  
James: laughing madly  
Lily: grinning evilly  
Peter: drinking soda pop  
Remus: snoring softly in a chair in the corner  
Anne': giggling madly  
Cho: ohhhhh ahhhhhh  
Jez: oh yes all righ  
Lee: haa ha ha haa haheheehehheehe  
  
All but Tom leaves doorway.  
  
ALL but TOM: lol !  
Lilly; oh so hilarious  
Sirius: still on sugar high  
Peter: has the hicoughs  
Sirius: Boo! From behind Peter  
Peter: Jumps REALLY HIGH 


End file.
